I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
