can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
