Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
