She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
