Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
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