12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize