I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
