he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
