I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
