Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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