If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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