GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
