I wish I could teleport
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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