i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
