I hate your face
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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