So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
