awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
