Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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