It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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