There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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