it was like eating out sand paper
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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