my vag is so smooth its legendary
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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