Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
