Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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