with your own penis?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
