I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
