ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
