i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
smell my finger.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm like, not good at living.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
