I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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