is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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