i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
