Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
