Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
