My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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