benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
