Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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