I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
