we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
