they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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