Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize