Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
whose parrot is this?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
