Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
