By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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