tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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