Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
