If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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