carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My bed smells like the plague
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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