i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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