How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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