does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
