This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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