i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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