Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
your like the ambassador to my penis.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
