i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
