like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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