I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
