My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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