The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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