woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
