her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
