S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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