some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
