Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We were destined to go to rehab together
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
