i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
