No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
