you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
