I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
