i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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