so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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