you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
