8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
