Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
