idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
