Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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